A Faithful Man
Every year it seems, as I hear the Christmas story and ponder it in my heart, a new character in it is an avenue for God to speak to my heart more than another in the year before. When I was pregnant with my first child, I deeply felt Mary's point of view. In years past, the wise men and the shepherds have been the characters that spoke to my heart. This year though, this year, the faithfulness of Joseph is being used to mold and refine my thankfulness for the man in my life- for the other men I see walking with God day-in and day-out and what a complete treasure it is to have a man, a faithful man, by your side in this life. A man not only faithful in the worldly view of what that means, but faithful to God first and foremost.
I'll be the first to admit I have under-appreciated the man that is my husband. It hurts me to say that, but I also know it's human to say that, and I think in most marriages, there are seasons and times that we don't fully appreciate the mate that God has placed before us. My husband is a wonderful man, but y'all, if I'm honest, he is unlike anyone I ever dated or any vision I ever had of who I'd be married to. Now bare with me, this isn't a negative post about my man...not in the least.
I am a gal who loves all things country, who is pretty bold in sharing her faith (that girl who went door to door in her neighborhood alone in college simply because I felt God was leading me to), and pretty much thought I'd grow up to be a pastor's wife or a missionary's wife. My husband and I would be an incredible team for furthering the Gospel, knocking on doors and spreading the Good News. The men in my life up to that point who I looked up to whether within my family or even high school crushes or people I dated were in the forefront. They were pastors, worship leaders, leaders in school...vocal and in the forefront of the church. They took these bold stands for Jesus, and it so resonated with my heart because I wanted so desperately for all to hear, see, and know who Jesus was, and to be perfectly honest, it was who I was.When I met my husband, he was unlike all of this, but as I've learned through the years....he is absolutely all of this. As we've grown and changed as people and as a couple, he is more in the forefront of serving, teaching, and speaking, but he is also just a quiet, humble servant, and my heart has continually been refined and is being refined to learn from that.
I look at our life, at our family, at our two adopted boys, and I look at Joseph and all I can think...the two words that have just resonated with me over and over and over this year, are 'faithful man.' I have a husband who lives his faith. It may not be as a worship leader or a pastor, but he takes a stand in a hard career field. He's been involved in prison ministry, taught youth, stood by my side and supported me and jumped into Children's Ministry as I've served, he's stood next to friends when hard awful church hurts and unbiblical things were happening and said enough is enough, he's quietly mentored others, invests in truly knowing people no matter their background...he's done so very much. He's my thinker, who when money comes in whether it's just a little extra, taxes, or a bonus...he'll gently remind me to "take the tithe out of it first please." When we were dating, I'd find thank you notes from fellow church members on his kitchen table where he'd paid their electricity or their water bill since he was then employed and other people in his class were struggling through college. He is so very faithful in spending time in the Word...more faithful than I am. I don't know that there has ever been a morning where I haven't found a Bible open either in the house or move one in his car because he's taken it to work to spend time with God before he heads into work for the day. I don't say this to brag about my husband, but I feel like God has used Ben in so many ways to show me that faithfulness to God and who He is doesn't have to be vocal all of the time. That planting seeds and watering seeds for God to grow, doesn't have to always be knocking on doors and presenting the Roman Road. There are so many ways in which God uses people to further His kingdom. So very many ways, and God paired me with a man who is, the majority of the time, a quiet faithful servant...whose deeds aren't seen or heard about by the majority, but he is faithful and consistent in what he does and in who he is (he even eats the same thing for lunch....every.single day...ha!). Consistency in anything is hard y'all!
A faithful man. A man who has put his family first and career second. Who has lived trying to make it to every kids' concert or performance or book fair night. Who has dropped things and showed up at doctor's appointments that were on our calendar, but I didn't expect him to be at and it really wasn't even necessary. A faithful man who would complete long days, only to come home and go to training for the next 3 hours so that we could follow the call to foster and adopt. Who would spend his weekends fulfilling training requirements, putting together furniture, fixing our home...all so that he could love, as his own, flesh that is not of his flesh. I do not think, until this year, that I have truly realized the gift it is that the call of our hearts match. There are not many men out there who would go to such great lengths to love as their own those that many of the world forget on a daily basis. I look at the calling on my life to foster and adopt and realize without Ben, I don't know that this calling would have been fulfilled. Oh, the gift that Joseph was to Mary. To choose to stay by her side, to raise this little boy who wasn't the flesh of his flesh to be so very faithful in an area where he just didn't have to be.
Ben is my gift. He is a good, good man. Humble, honorable, consistent, honest, and faithful. Too many times that quiet demeanor is seen as weakness in our world, and I even feel like within the realms of the church. If I'm 100% honest, there have been times that in my heart of hearts that quietness has aggravated me so very much because, well, it's not me. It's not how God has gifted me to share my faith. Y'all- God has opened my eyes to faithfulness of a quiet man.
Lord, forgive me for all of the times I've questioned our pairing. For the times my heart has longed for him to be the 'stand up and speak out' type in all situations. For every single time that I didn't appreciate the life that I have with this man and the person that you gifted me with. For the lack of seeing our differences as something good. Lord, I thank you for refining my heart and my view through the role of Joseph this year, and for gifting me with an imperfect man, doing his best to walk behind you as you lead, and to guide our family along. A faithful man to You, to me, to us. Please, continue to use Joseph in this story to speak to my heart- to delve deeper into my thankfulness and love for my husband, to learn more of your sovereignty in all things, your very perfect plan, and your goodness. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for the gift of marriage. Thank you for the gift of your salvation through Jesus, and thank you for generations of the quiet faithful.
As I reflect on my husband's quiet faithfulness, I also reflect on the song we had sung at our wedding during the lighting of the unity candle almost 11 years ago, and I pray that the desire of our hearts back then is the life that we are leading. Household of Faith- Our Wedding Song
I'll be the first to admit I have under-appreciated the man that is my husband. It hurts me to say that, but I also know it's human to say that, and I think in most marriages, there are seasons and times that we don't fully appreciate the mate that God has placed before us. My husband is a wonderful man, but y'all, if I'm honest, he is unlike anyone I ever dated or any vision I ever had of who I'd be married to. Now bare with me, this isn't a negative post about my man...not in the least.
I am a gal who loves all things country, who is pretty bold in sharing her faith (that girl who went door to door in her neighborhood alone in college simply because I felt God was leading me to), and pretty much thought I'd grow up to be a pastor's wife or a missionary's wife. My husband and I would be an incredible team for furthering the Gospel, knocking on doors and spreading the Good News. The men in my life up to that point who I looked up to whether within my family or even high school crushes or people I dated were in the forefront. They were pastors, worship leaders, leaders in school...vocal and in the forefront of the church. They took these bold stands for Jesus, and it so resonated with my heart because I wanted so desperately for all to hear, see, and know who Jesus was, and to be perfectly honest, it was who I was.When I met my husband, he was unlike all of this, but as I've learned through the years....he is absolutely all of this. As we've grown and changed as people and as a couple, he is more in the forefront of serving, teaching, and speaking, but he is also just a quiet, humble servant, and my heart has continually been refined and is being refined to learn from that.
I look at our life, at our family, at our two adopted boys, and I look at Joseph and all I can think...the two words that have just resonated with me over and over and over this year, are 'faithful man.' I have a husband who lives his faith. It may not be as a worship leader or a pastor, but he takes a stand in a hard career field. He's been involved in prison ministry, taught youth, stood by my side and supported me and jumped into Children's Ministry as I've served, he's stood next to friends when hard awful church hurts and unbiblical things were happening and said enough is enough, he's quietly mentored others, invests in truly knowing people no matter their background...he's done so very much. He's my thinker, who when money comes in whether it's just a little extra, taxes, or a bonus...he'll gently remind me to "take the tithe out of it first please." When we were dating, I'd find thank you notes from fellow church members on his kitchen table where he'd paid their electricity or their water bill since he was then employed and other people in his class were struggling through college. He is so very faithful in spending time in the Word...more faithful than I am. I don't know that there has ever been a morning where I haven't found a Bible open either in the house or move one in his car because he's taken it to work to spend time with God before he heads into work for the day. I don't say this to brag about my husband, but I feel like God has used Ben in so many ways to show me that faithfulness to God and who He is doesn't have to be vocal all of the time. That planting seeds and watering seeds for God to grow, doesn't have to always be knocking on doors and presenting the Roman Road. There are so many ways in which God uses people to further His kingdom. So very many ways, and God paired me with a man who is, the majority of the time, a quiet faithful servant...whose deeds aren't seen or heard about by the majority, but he is faithful and consistent in what he does and in who he is (he even eats the same thing for lunch....every.single day...ha!). Consistency in anything is hard y'all!
A faithful man. A man who has put his family first and career second. Who has lived trying to make it to every kids' concert or performance or book fair night. Who has dropped things and showed up at doctor's appointments that were on our calendar, but I didn't expect him to be at and it really wasn't even necessary. A faithful man who would complete long days, only to come home and go to training for the next 3 hours so that we could follow the call to foster and adopt. Who would spend his weekends fulfilling training requirements, putting together furniture, fixing our home...all so that he could love, as his own, flesh that is not of his flesh. I do not think, until this year, that I have truly realized the gift it is that the call of our hearts match. There are not many men out there who would go to such great lengths to love as their own those that many of the world forget on a daily basis. I look at the calling on my life to foster and adopt and realize without Ben, I don't know that this calling would have been fulfilled. Oh, the gift that Joseph was to Mary. To choose to stay by her side, to raise this little boy who wasn't the flesh of his flesh to be so very faithful in an area where he just didn't have to be.
Ben is my gift. He is a good, good man. Humble, honorable, consistent, honest, and faithful. Too many times that quiet demeanor is seen as weakness in our world, and I even feel like within the realms of the church. If I'm 100% honest, there have been times that in my heart of hearts that quietness has aggravated me so very much because, well, it's not me. It's not how God has gifted me to share my faith. Y'all- God has opened my eyes to faithfulness of a quiet man.
Lord, forgive me for all of the times I've questioned our pairing. For the times my heart has longed for him to be the 'stand up and speak out' type in all situations. For every single time that I didn't appreciate the life that I have with this man and the person that you gifted me with. For the lack of seeing our differences as something good. Lord, I thank you for refining my heart and my view through the role of Joseph this year, and for gifting me with an imperfect man, doing his best to walk behind you as you lead, and to guide our family along. A faithful man to You, to me, to us. Please, continue to use Joseph in this story to speak to my heart- to delve deeper into my thankfulness and love for my husband, to learn more of your sovereignty in all things, your very perfect plan, and your goodness. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for the gift of marriage. Thank you for the gift of your salvation through Jesus, and thank you for generations of the quiet faithful.
As I reflect on my husband's quiet faithfulness, I also reflect on the song we had sung at our wedding during the lighting of the unity candle almost 11 years ago, and I pray that the desire of our hearts back then is the life that we are leading. Household of Faith- Our Wedding Song
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